


Kiss me like it's a lie

by Felixseo (kafkao)



Series: a kiss... as in ...? [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:30:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kafkao/pseuds/Felixseo
Summary: all the different places Changbin likes to kiss Felix





	Kiss me like it's a lie

**Author's Note:**

> hihi happy debut day !! I’m on a writing hiatus right now but have this thing that i wrote some time ago :)
> 
> (Title taken from Blackpink's As if it's your last)

Felix’s first public kiss from his boyfriend is in front of their third oldest member and a whole camera crew (as well as the entirety of their future audience.) They haven’t been together long; in fact, Felix could probably count the weeks on his fingers, but his fingers are currently occupied by a tremble as Changbin kneels next to him, no doubt staining the knees of his jeans in grass stains and dirt. But it seems the elder’s mind is just as preoccupied as Felix’s, because despite the reluctant glances he’s throwing at the glare of the cameras, Felix _knows_ the shaky feeling is mutual.

Changbin kisses his cheek for a strong three seconds, pulling away when Felix’s small screams turn into full on shrieks. Felix doesn’t even know why he’s screaming; Changbin has kissed his cheek before- maybe it’s the nerves of there being onlookers this time, but either way, he’s upset he isn’t able to properly revel in the blissful feeling of it.

“What’s with you?” Changbin asks once the cameras are no longer rolling. Minho had somehow managed to get chicken in his hair and the stylists had thrown a fit, so the camera crew suggested a short break.

“Nothing,” Felix says, settling under the shade of a tree. Changbin settles in front of him, blocking out any potential sunlight, and Felix is glad- more sun means more prominent freckles, and more prominent freckles means more powder on his face to cover them up.

“Don’t _nothing_ me,” Changbin chastises, rolling his eyes to emphasise that Felix’s lies are completely meaningless to him at this point.

“Can you kiss my cheek again?” The younger says finally, squinting one eye closed as he prepares himself for the teasing that (surely) will follow.

To his surprise, he doesn’t receive mockery- rather there’s the familiar feeling of a soft pair of lips against his cheek, holding momentarily before pulling away.

“All you have to do is ask,” Changbin smiles, though he’s soon kissing the younger’s cheeks all over again when he notices the beautiful coat of red spreading over them.

 

\--

 

Felix is used to heat- he’s sweated with kangaroos, felt like he was on the verge of dehydration on numerous Sydney beaches and all that fun Australian stuff. But he’s convinced there’s _no_ _place_ hotter on earth than the JYP practise room.

No matter how many fans they switch on or how many water fights Woojin initiates, the practise room refuses to decline in temperature.

He’s practising till 3am one night (morning?), the last one in the building as usual. As the days stretch longer, they get harder, and as things get harder Felix feels the constant need to push himself further. He’s been on the brink of the elimination cliff for two episodes straight, and if he doesn’t pull his weight, he worries he’ll be easily pushed off the edge.

But practising late at night isn’t easy, his limbs hurt whilst his muscles simultaneously scream at him to _please get more than three hours of sleep._ Exhausted, he finally finds himself collapsing to the floor at four in the morning, blankly staring at the ceiling. He should probably get up and head back to the dorms- maybe take a shower if he has the physical capacity- and he _will,_ he swears he’ll be up in just a few minutes, once he’s rested his eyes.

Felix isn’t sure how long he ‘rests his eyes’, but the next thing he knows, he’s being shaken by a gloriously handsome boy.

“Did I die and go straight to heaven?”

Changbin snorts, pushing at his shoulder, then dropping next to him, cross-legged on the floor.

“Don’t be a dork,”

Felix grins, combing his (still) sweaty hair out of his eyes and sitting up.

“You scared me,” Changbin says quietly, “I thought you’d fainted from exertion. Was about to take JYP straight to court or something.” He shakes his head, dark hair falling into his eyes, “You should be sleeping, not practising till your death.”

“You should be sleeping too, hyung.” Felix shoots back, but the words are softly spoken into the silence of their early morning practise room. The elder says nothing, simply wrinkles his nose when Felix shifts closer.

“Don’t.” He warns, “You’re really gross right now.”

The warning is completely useless, because Changbin is talking to a seventeen year old with the mind of a _five year old_ and of course, five year olds must act five- which is why Felix flops against his boyfriend completely and crowds him into a huge hug.

“Felix- you- _why,”_ Changbin groans, trying to wriggle out of the awfully sweaty embrace he’s trapped in.

“Love you, hyung.” Felix grins, all cheesy smiles and teasing eyes, and Changbin finds any sort of revenge slipping from his mind. He pulls his sleeve over his palm and wipes at the younger boy’s forehead before leaning down to drop a very light kiss against it.

“Come on,” He murmurs before pulling away. Felix silently follows suit.

 

\--

He practises every second after he gets eliminated. His suitcase back in a new room is still unpacked; because Felix has more important things to do- like prove to JYP that he _is_ capable of debuting with a group who is more skilled than him.

So he dances to his full potential and then further- he sleeps no more than two hours a night, and coffee suddenly becomes his first and last meal of the day. He knows it’s not healthy, he needs to be _alive_ to debut, but he’s become one track minded, and all thoughts of staying human fly out of a little window.

And it’s not just dance; Felix knows his Korean is lacking, so all he does is _talk._ He talks to himself in the shower every morning, he talks whilst he gets dressed, and talks the whole time he practises. He strikes up a conversation with the barista, and then the shopkeeper, even the security outside their building. He ignores the weird looks people give him as he walks past muttering to himself, and he further ignores the sniggers every time he slips up and says something that makes next to no sense. Because he’s _trying,_ and that’s all that matters right now.

Felix misses his members the most- their schedules clash too much and they’re busy with a promised debut that he is no longer a part of. Felix can’t remember the last time he looked at his phone, however, and he’s acutely aware the other members may be trying to reach him, but he just _can’t_ look at it right now. There are more important things that need to be done- like studying till the sun rises.

Felix breaks at five in the morning, because the words just _won’t_ enter his mind, and instead of taking into account the ridiculous time, he blames it on his weak brain and lacking efforts. It’s only a few minutes later he realises he can’t even _see_ the vocabulary on the page anymore, and then everything’s becoming blurry with tears, no matter how hard he tries to wipe them away. He slams his book shut and nestles his head into his arms, sniffling quietly- alone in the empty room. He’s _trying,_ he _really_ is, but when will his efforts be _enough?_

He must have been crying loudly, or maybe he was just so immersed in his own struggles he doesn’t hear a door opening nor footsteps making their way over to him. He only notices a second presence when there’s arms being wrapped around him. He jumps- completely startled by another person, until he feels himself being pulled into the lap of a familiar. Changbin holds him tightly, his scent and overall presence bringing a comfort that nothing and no one else ever will.

“Shhh, baby…” The elder mutters against his head, fingers running through Felix’s dark hair. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

There are tears staining his face even when he’s calmed, and Changbin lifts his head with a finger to the bottom of his chin,

“What is it?” He asks, voice the softest Felix has ever heard it.

“I’m tired,” He mumbles, “Just _so_ tired.”

“Sleep tired?” Changbin asks gently.

 _“Everything_ tired.”

The elder gives him a fond, sympathetic look before using his thumbs to wipe at the stray tears on Felix’s face.

“You’ll be okay.” He promises, eyes darting anywhere and everywhere, before kissing the corner of the younger’s mouth. He tastes dampness, salt, but kisses the same place once more anyway.

Felix finds himself relaxing.

 

\--

Felix can’t sit still. Their debut is less than fifteen minutes away, he can hear the crowd screaming as staff bustle around them, adding last minute tweaks to Jeongin’s hair and touching up on Hyunjin’s eye makeup.

“Nervous?” A voice asks next to him, and Felix smiles at their leader, immediate ease settling into his bones.

“A little. Are you?”

“Nah,” Chan grins, mock cockiness settling into his tone, “I know I’ll do great.”

Felix snorts,

“Sure, Chan.”

“Hyung.” Chan corrects

“You don’t have to call me hyung.” Felix grins. Chan’s eyes grow,

“You little-” He begins, then he’s surging forward, ignoring the younger’s shrieks as he tickles at his sides.

“Hyung, are you harassing my boyfriend?”

Chan quickly retreats from his exploits on the younger member, laughing as Changbin approaches them both.

Felix darts out of his seat to immediately latch on to the elder’s side, fingers grasping at his jacket.

“Chan hyung was being rude.” He pouts, eyes twinkling when his boyfriend pulls him further into his side.

 _“I_ was being rude to _you? What?”_

Changbin laughs, clearly aware but also clearly amused, then whisks Felix away before he instigates something else.

“Nerves?” He asks when they’re alone in a corner of the hallway. Felix nods eyes downcast in almost shame at the elder’s ability to see right through him.

“It’s okay, you’ll be fine.”

The younger nods again, fingers reaching out to interlace with the boy in front of him. Changbin allows it, pulling his boyfriend closer to his chest.

“You think?” Felix asks, hating the way that there’s little to no confidence in his voice.

“Definitely.” Changbin affirms. Then before Felix can register what is happening, the elder turns his head so their foreheads are resting against each other, then drops a kiss to the younger’s lips. Felix finds himself frozen for a moment; before he pulls Changbin back in before he can pull away. He feels the elder smile against his mouth, like he so often does, and something about that wonderful familiarity has all his nerves dissipating into thin air.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this will probably end up with a part two at some point
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/feiixseo)


End file.
